I got up today, took my pills, took a shower, sat around for about an hour. That's how everyday starts. It takes me usually 2 to 3 hours to get going each day, which makes it hard to keep a job. I am stuck in this pathetic, painful existence. It's been over a decade that I've been in pain from multiple surgeries.
Here is a list of surgeries; 2 Hiatal Hernia surgeries, 1 knee surgery, 1 lower back surgery, 1 shoulder surgery, a Lymph Node removal thought to be cancerous. I was told I had Hodgkins Lymphoma. So for three weeks I was making plans for the worse, I quit my job to spend time with my family. Then I get a call that it was not cancer, but a reactive lymph node. I was so happy but also so pissed that I quit my job based on what my doctor told me.
The Hiatal Hernia has left my abdomen and chest scared and has costant pain. The main problem is I can't escape the clutches of pain medication. Even though I know they are toxic to my body, I can't stop taking them. I have tried several times to wean off them but the withdrawals are so strong I can't. I wish I wouldn't have never would have taken that first pill many years ago. I have no idea what to do. I don't have the money to pay for the overnight detox, which is the only way I will be able to get off the damn pills.
Shon
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